Thursday, April 25, 2013

NO Rules

Humor me for a moment...

 I realize that I created this blog as a way to express myself through my work. It's been my goal to enlighten (well maybe too strong a word) or introduce ideas and ideals that I apply in my life on a daily basis to you. If only to show, through example that we all can affect a positive change in our world, and as a result improve our earth. One small idea, or "craft" at a time.

I'm not sure I have lived up to honoring this task.
I take far too long to sit down and express what I am feeling before, during and after I create.
I vow to be better.

I am blessed to be able to live within and through my work.
And it's not at all funny to me that concepts, I have applied to my life, and expanded on and created SHV on are now flowing mainstream.
Into something bigger, and more accepted.
Dare I say fashionable...

However, I sat to write this not because I wish to expand on the above, but rather to give insight into me, the real ME, behind SHV.

I've reached a point in time where my daughter is no longer dependent on me. I don't need to drive her places or discuss "boys".
For many years she has been my reason for....well my reason for everything. Every decision, every choice, every plan.
And now its all about me.
Freedom. a certain level of freedom that excites me like it never has before. I can do anything. Anything at all. I believe this fully.
But what....
If you are close to me you know my mind never ever stops. I can slow it down, and feel peace as I have never known before, but I am always creating and thinking and wanting to "do".
My friend Dean always remarks that I have an insatiable need to learn. That if there is something I do not know, and the question arrises....well you can bet I jump on the computer and research until I can grasp the concept or at least have an idea or a clue in to the topic.
I plead guilty to the above. Not even caring as to the hows and whys. Its really just because....

And all of this.....blah blah only adds up to one thing...I yearn, I crave, I ooze the desire to live.
Experience everything I could possibly experience. Right here, right now.

Enlightenment has given me peace and happiness i really can't explain.

I have till now spent a bit too much time worrying if you could actually "see the difference in me"
but for now, today, and from tomorrow forward I dont care about that anymore.

My only concern as far as you are concerned is...."are you coming with me"?

I am emotionally prepared to go it alone. Seek out whatever it is on my own for one reason only....I have let others decide for me where I was going and when, my whole life.
One of the most valuable lessons Dean taught me is to not settle.
Without realizing I have built my whole life around a concept that was taught to me (and sadly, I passed down to my daughter) and that is, to not be impulsive or desire. To think really think about what you do and then....pick the more practical choice.

And so, for as long as I can remember I have chosen not based on the passion or desire for what I want....but taking that feeling, knocking it down a few pegs and then "chosing that".
Well thats just plain ole sad.

Sooo if my words make any sense at all, todays blog is about living.
This exact moment. Being present in the here and now. No projection, no regret.
I believe if I can master this concept, I will indeed be happy. Always.

I seek adventure. In the smallest sense.

Ive been given the gift of being able to dream and then create...
And yet, the gift of being able to apply this into my life, big picture wise has alluded me.
Not anymore.

So again I ask......."are you coming with me" because i'm off, with or without you